ASU SexTalk Oct. 13th!

ASU Health Ed Sex Talk

Feeling like a devil?  Our  ASU Red Devil students will be tomorrow night after my sex talk! With over 1200 students in the downtown Phoenix ASU campus, it promises to be a standing room  only!  We have a state of the art classroom in the posh Walter Cronkite building that holds 250 students, but with all the goodies Fascinations FunLove has provided, I bet seats go FAST!  Check out the Devils After Dark Facebook page for details!

Talking to college students is absolutely my favorite!  I can remember learning all about sex in college, sometimes it was in good ways and others times in not so good!  My first Human Sexuality class was a psych course in an auditorium room with 500+ people in it.  I still have the vivid memory of seeing women get a C-Section and deliver a child vaginally.  I still get the chills and maybe that is why I still haven’t born my own child!  I don’t remember learning about all the fun stuff I’ve taught college students for years.  Some of my favorites included fun gender topics and games,  a Fascinations like scavenger hunt or creative aphrodisiac projects!

ASU students can look forward to their own juicy topics that will include:

• What is Normal Sex
• Anatomy 101
• Super Tricks & Toys!
• Safer Sex & Diseases You Don’t Want
• Nothing Taboo Question & Answer Session

Come learn about some healthy sexual fun and take home some wonderful treats, tricks and information to keep you HEALTHY!

Nourish Double Chocoolate Cheesecake

I had a love affair with my salad last night!  Seriously, I make love to the food I make all the time.  But I’ve never had the food make love to me the way it did last night!  My Nothing Taboo SexTalk group met at www.nourish123.com last night.  Located in a clandestine corner of work/living condominiums in Scottsdale, Arizona; it’s a like the lover who turns you inside out!

Ok, maybe it’s just me because I really am a food slut!  In a healthy way of course, but I just love food!  Good, healthy clean food makes my merry-go-round!  I love the way my favorites smell, the texture, the crunchy, the vibration and the way it nourishes not just my stomach but my soul!  That’s seriously what this food does for me – nourishes me on all levels!  I can feel my body vibrate with enthusiasm, joy and energy.

Last night it was the Bright Lights Kale Salad that took my breath away!  The tart kale mixed with a fresh walnut and soft squishy fig melted on my tongue like a first kiss!  Sliced strawberries, blueberries, raspberry’s and some light magical dressing caressed my mouth like a good lovers hands!  It was so good I totally forgot about the tasty appetizers… air fried sweet potato fries, artichoke hummus, quinoa and purple carrots!  And like good sex, one round wasn’t enough but I also wasn’t so full that three or four rounds was impossible!  As a matter of fact this food is so nourishing and good, you’re energized and ready to go all night long!

It’s a good thing, because the gluten, dairy free double chocolate cheesecake with a big fat raspberry on top was the most happy ending!  Cool and fresh the cheesecake melted on my tongue and slid down my throat with total ecstasy!   Who needs a lover when you have Nourish’s aphrodisiac food!  Keep watching for the details of my SexTacular Aphrodisiac Seminar series at the restaurant which starts in September!

One of my favorite teaching activities at the university was to ask students to anonymously write down the last time they had unprotected sex. I did this a few weeks before I started the sexually transmitted disease unit.  It was far enough ahead they would forget I asked. Then, sure enough when that section came around they would swear up and down they “always use condoms”.  I of course knew better, because they had already shared. Then at the end of a highly graphic, stomach turning STD presentation I’d pull out those cards and read them!  They went something like this:

• She is my girlfriend I don’t need condoms
• Last night because I didn’t have any
• She is on the pill we don’t need it
• He promised he wouldn’t cum inside me
• We got caught up in the moment
• I’ve only not used a condom once

It was rare that anyone would actually say, “I always use a condom.” People don’t, and of the people that do it’s rare they use condoms consistently and correctly! There are lots of statistics about condom effectiveness but not as many that study the consistent and correct use, because that my friends is what makes condoms effective! Research shows that 30% of people put condoms on incorrectly. A recent study in Canada showed that 94% of males make at least 1 error while putting on the condom before they have sex! One study by the Kinsey institute of college males showed that 30% of men put the condom on upside down and had to flip it and 1/3 reported breakage or slippage during sex.  I don’t know about you, but that’s a little risky for my liking!

In the same college study, 60% of the men didn’t discuss condom use and 42% wanted to use condoms but didn’t have any handy. Even more scary, was that 43% of men put the condom on after sex!  According to a May 2011 article from the Guttmacher Institute, unintended pregnancy costs U.S. taxpayers roughly $11 billion each year.  “The study found that two-thirds of births resulting from unintended pregnancies—more than one million births—are publicly funded, and the proportion tops 80% in a couple of states.”  (http://www.guttmacher.org/media/nr/2011/05/19/index.html). These are costly mistakes. Add this to the fact that there are 19 million new STD’s a year and learning to use condoms consistently and correctly becomes a lot more desirable!

So what are the most common mistakes?  Researchers at the Rural Center for AIDS/STD Prevention at Indiana University and investigators at The Kinsey Institute for Research in Sex, Gender and Reproduction have done several studies of condom users and the prevalence of condom-use errors, which they discovered are very common.  One study of single, undergraduate male and female college students showed the following mistakes:

For more information on this topic and to read a recent interview with Dr.SexTalk and College Times visit: Visit College Times – 8/23/2011

People always laugh when I tell them one of my main questions when meeting a man is if they floss!  It actually tells me if they care about their health and hygiene and if their mouth is clean enough to visit mine or other body parts!   Current research shows there are even better reasons to floss gentlemen.

A recent study in the Journal of Periodontology showed a correlation between gum disease and the ability to get an erection.  Research data showed that as the erectile dysfunction (ED) got more severe as the prevalence of chronic gum disease (periodontitis) increased.  Less than 2/5 men with mild erectile dysfunction had gum disease.  Essentially, the worse the gum disease the more likely men were to experience erectile dysfunction, which is no fun for either partner!

The National Institutes of Health estimates that ED affects as many as 30 million men in the United States or about 1 out of every 10.  It is more common after the age of 40 and increases with age.  Professionals are moving away from the term impotence so it won’t be confused with non-medical meanings.  ED is defined as the inability to maintain an erection sufficient for satisfactory sexual performance.  I’m thinking it would just be easier to floss!

When men have poor oral health they not only risk losing teeth but also decreasing their sexual performance!  When poor oral health becomes advanced enough to turn into gum disease bacteria from the mouth enters the blood stream.  Erectile dysfunction is a vascular dysfunction so it’s no surprise these are associated.  This was a small study and further, larger studies are warranted – but why risk anything that effects your sexual functioning?

The easiest way to prevent gum disease is to follow your dentist’s recommendations to brush your teeth for two minutes twice a day, floss daily and get regular dental visits!  This not only protects your oral health, it provides a fresher environment for giving oral sex.  Most importantly, in the end it helps you keep things perky so sexual intercourse is a lot more fun!

Pradeep, A R., Sharma Anuj., and Arjun Raju P. (2011). Association Between Chronic Periodontitis and Vasculogenic Erectile Dysfunction, Journal of Periodontology, 0:0, 1-7.

Woman In The Throes Of An Orgasm

Women ask me all the time “How do I know if I’m having an orgasm?“  If you have to ask then you definitely aren’t having one!  The female orgasm can be elusive and it doesn’t have a cut dry method to its madness.  Unfortunately women aren’t having orgasms; they want them but don’t know how to get them!  So what’s the problem and what can you do?

A Controversy – Not All Women Created Equal?

There is controversy among sexologists of whether or not all healthy women can experience coital orgasm without other types of stimulation (i.e. clitoral).  Many well-known sex researchers like Masters and Johnson believe all women have the ability; and other prominent researchers like Helen Kaplan believe there is some variance and not all women have this ability.  Studies have shown that 70-80% of women need direct clitoral stimulation to achieve orgasm.  Studies from 1957 up to now show that only 17% to 45% of women actually have coital orgasms.  I’ll tell you about the coital alignment technique a sexual position that helps this near the end.  So why do some woman have orgasms and others don’t?

The inability to have an orgasm is commonly referred to as anorgasmia.  There are several types:

• Primary anorgasmia which means a woman has never had an orgasm by any means – masturbation, fantasizing, oral, vaginal or anal penetration.
• Situational anorgasmia is when a woman can only have an orgasm in a certain way, pattern or position.
• Random anorgasmia is when the orgasms aren’t regular or dependable even when sexually stimulated.
• Secondary anorgasmia is when a woman loses reliable patterns of orgasmic response.  This can also be caused by painful intercourse, traumatic sexual experiences or being involved in a unsatisfying relationship.

It’s important to distinguish emotional from physiological causes of anorgasmia.  The use of alcohol, prescription drugs, recreational drugs or even illness can be a factor.  The decreased amount of estrogen in a woman’s body during menopause can also effect the ease in which a woman orgasms.  A physician should be consulted to determine the physical causes.

You Must Masturbate To Explore Your Own Body To Know What It Wants

If you have not masturbated (and many people haven’t) you must explore your own body!  This will give you a sense of your own body, its reactions and needs that make it easier for you to guide your partner!  If this is a challenge for you visit the Ten Best Sellers at Romantic Gifts for some tasteful toys and games that might make it easier for you and your partner to have fun with this!

Get In Touch With Your Emotions To Better Your Orgasms

Emotionally, Doris Lessing said it best in her book The Golden Notebook:

“A vaginal orgasm is emotion and nothing else, felt as emotion and expressed in sensations that are indistinguishable from emotions…”

Keep in mind that as recent as 1957 gynecology experts believed that women didn’t have sexual feelings, sexual needs or desires.  This was only 51 years ago!  A study of female sexuality will show just how much the experts and world has changed in 51 years.  Keep in mind people’s attitudes and behaviors do not necessary change at the same warp speed.  As a 50 year old Baby Boomer, you’re coming from a generation where the socialization of sexual expression and desire was VERY different than what women from the Generation X, Y and Millennial have experienced.  So check in with yourself and discover your beliefs and values about sexuality.

Nothing Like Exercise To Bring On The Big ‘O

Emotionally how a woman feels about herself, her partner and her relationship will make a difference.  If you aren’t feeling great about your body, your life or anything around that it will affect your libido and ability to orgasm.  One quick fix is to eat a healthy diet, do not take prescription drugs unless medically necessitated and EXERCISE!  Study after study show that exercise increases self-esteem and sexual satisfaction!  Check in with your partner and how you feel about the relationship.  If you have “lost that loving feeling” and things like trust, safety, passion, and intimacy are missing explore what you can do as a team to rebuild this.  A sex counselor or therapist might be warranted.

Lastly, SPICE IT UP!

Visit The SexKitchen (c) for some saucy recipes that will light your partners fire!  Try new sexual positions or being intimate in ways you’ve never tried before!  The coital alignment technique is a variation of the missionary-man-on-top position that increases coital stimulation.  Partners line up in the traditional missionary position with the man on top then he moves his entire body forward so with each penetration his pubic bone stimulates a woman’s clitoris.   One study showed that 56% of women increased their orgasmic ability by using this technique!

I think the best place to start is your spiritual center.  Get connected to who you really are and get comfortable with yourself.  When you can do this you can explore your emotional landscape and deal with what you need to deal with.  Although there are many physical causes of not being able to orgasm, in most women it’s emotionally rooted!

You have to determine what weeds should be pulled out of your sexual garden and what seeds need to be nurtured to grow. In some cases an established plant needs to be cut back, trimmed, fertilized and nurtured to grow!  Only you can say but get busy because once you have a coital orgasm you’ll wonder what you’ve been waiting for!