A Woman’s Perspective On Play…that is…from DrSexTalk.
Sexual preferences should be made known early in a relationship. I don’t know about you, but in my experience I don’t see this happening with authenticity and honesty. It seems easy for some and very difficult for others. It would be easy to assume men are more able to do this, but that isn’t always true. Many men desire kinkier and dirtier sex from woman and just can’t ask. How do you ask the mother of your kids and wife of 15 years to tie you up and play domination? Many can’t and end up satisfying this with other outlets.
Men will have to speak for themselves, but here are some things to consider about women. The thought – “men have to have sex to fall in love and women have to fall in love to have sex” carries some weight. Many women want to tap into a kinkier side but fear stops them. Emotional security about themselves and in their relationship is a huge factor. Their worried thoughts include: “Good girls don’t do that.” “Will he still love me?” “What if I don’t like it and he leaves me?” “Is it a sin?”
If you haven’t discussed it drop hints… explore sexual fantasies in fun conversations or games, ask in a love note, go to the adult store, rent an adult film, browse the sex section at the bookstore, search the internet… generate conversation but don’t let it scare you off from asking. A “no” now may not always be a no! There are many variables but here are a few ideas that make opening the door easier.
1. TALK, TALK, TALK but not just about the “fantasy”. Really understand the core concern and address it!
2. Emotional security is built when a man has integrity, is emotionally available – willing to be intimate and vulnerable; and the woman feels supported. (For some women vacuuming is support!)
3. Assure them they will not fall from grace in your eyes as that “good girl” or the apple of your eye, or Princess – whatever it is!
Keep in mind just asking might be all you need to do. Your “Princess” might have a pair of handcuffs she’s been dying to try on you…